Information about Joining a Men's Group

Advise on Joining a Men’s Group

Do I want to join a men’s group?

What a men’s group has to offer is the opportunity to share with other men - to learn from others’ experiences, and to get and give feedback on what is going on in your life and theirs. This can include issues with work, sports, children, faith, relationships, or anything else that is personally important. The strength of men’s groups is that we can often learn from the experiences of others and apply it to our own lives, making all within the group richer for it. For me it has been a place where I have nothing to prove, somewhere where I can share both laughter and concern about my life and theirs, and where being vulnerable is not seen as a fault.

The only prerequisites are the capacity to trust and be trusted, and to be willing to try to understand what is going on in other people’s lives.

When deciding to join a men’s group, there are essentially two choices: one is to join an existing group, the other is to start a group of your own.

Joining an existing group

Joining an existing group is often the easiest approach, although there may be some challenging aspects to it. First of all, the dynamics of men’s groups can be fairly complex: the group may have a shared history that can leave a new member feeling left out. Also issues such as time and frequency of meeting are in place when the new person comes on board, which may make integrating the new person somewhat challenging.

There generally is a strong sense of mutual trust within the group, and when a new member is added it may take some time for this trust to fully redevelop. Allowing a person into a group shows a large amount of trust to start with, and with time, integration usually does occur. Remember that when you join in a group, you become aware of the closely personal life of fellow group members, which is a trust not to be taken lightly.

Starting a new men’s group

While more challenging at first, starting a new men’s group can be a better solution for some. It allows more flexibility in scheduling, and starts with new relationship dynamics. The disadvantage, however, is that there is no existing structure of both time commitment and trust basis. It is difficult to be open and sharing about our inner lives in a setting where we do not know the other people, and there is no previous history established. All existing groups have started from this basis, however, and it has proven to work since there are a fair number of thriving existing men’s groups.

If you are interested in either joining an existing men’s group or starting a new one, you can e-mail dmc@hotmail.com and you will be contacted within two weeks. Please include your name, family status, telephone number and e-mail, and whether you are interested in finding other men to start a new group or are interested in joining an existing group. Also please specify if there is a group you are interested in joining.